So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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