You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
