cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
