So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
