Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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