Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
