Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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