He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Randomize