I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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