literally had 100 drinks last night.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
