She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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