He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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