My sheets look like a crime scene.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
