you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I want a musical about memes.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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