I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
