At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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