Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
