i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
