we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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