im drinking this country out of the recession.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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