you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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