This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
