i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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