I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
