I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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