I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
We don't watch enough power rangers
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
