people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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