Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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