I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
birth control should be required to get into college
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
