Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
