Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
