yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I just want nice things and good sex
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Why is there bacon in the couch?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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