I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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