why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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