all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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