Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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