with your own penis?
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
