Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
