i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
