We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
