ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Randomize
