i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
