I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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