I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
