If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
