I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
