You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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