dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
