4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
