I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
